(Contestant opens the show)

Im Vartika Jain and Im a big fan of SRK. My family thinks Im all stylish, but do you know Im loved by them all. I have degrees, and in any way I want to win Paanchvi Pass.

SRK: Hello Vartika, you play without tension because SRK and the kids are with you. She is 26 years old, and what do you do Vartika?
V: Im a senior business analyst. I collect a lot of data and make a report so that my clients can make business decisions.
SRK: This is your picture from where, Himanchal?
V: Yes we had gone to Simla.
SRK: How old are you here?
V: I was in 4th standard
SRK: You were always a good kid?
V: Yes
SRK: You have medals here. Let me show them...Tell me about them
V: This one is from 10th class, because I stood 10th in class.
SRK: Shall I put them on you. You had just gotten married.
V: Yeah last year.
SRK: Your husband is here?
V: Yes. Harish
SRK: Hello Harish. What do you do?
Harish: Im an engineer.
SRK: Sounds like an intelligent family we have here. Have you helped Vartika prepare? What do you call her at home?
Harish: Vartu.
SRK: Vartu...so you helped her prepare?
Harish: Yes as if I was having exams.
SRK: I wish you all the best and have lots of kids. Ill explain you the rules (explains)

(then he explains about the rules)

SRK: Ok, then please choose your classmate.
V: Shriya
SRK: Lets see if Vartika is smarter than a fifth grader. Choose your subject.
V: Class 1 Animal Kingdom

(quest)

SRK: Shriya thinks that she knows the answer and has fixed it.
V: I dont think its moths or dragon flies because moths fly towards the light. And with dragon flies, since the word flies is in it, they must be flying only. Fleas are like parasites that stay on animals. Ill go with fleas.
SRK: Fleas is the right answer!

 

SRK: Choose your subject.
V: Class 2 Hindi

(quest: How many days are there in one adhivarsh?-- leap yr)

SRK: Shriya thinks that she knows the answer and has fixed it.
V: Adhivarsh would mean half a year,
SRK: The Hindi word is adhivarsh. You have three cheats. (explains)
V: I dont know the meaning of adhivarsh.
SRK: Its a Hindi question and its asked because you should know the meaning.
V: I want to use Taak Jhaank
SRK: Ok then you have to fix it.
V: (does so)
SRK: Lets see what Shriya has written. She has written 366.
V: Thats leap year.
SRK: 366
V: Ill go with her
SRK: You have to fix it.
V: (Does so)
SRK: RIght answer!

 

SRK: Now you can choose another classmate
V: Dheirya
SRK: Choose your subject.
V: Class 2 English

(quest)

V: Its not Rhyme because then the endings would be the same. Refrain means something else like you shouldnt be doing something...
SRK: Dheiyra thinks that he knows the answer and has fixed it.
V: I think its restrain.
SRK: Youll have to fix it
V: (does so)
SRK: Why did you say restrain?
V: Strain means to pull at something for some time and I thought that if its repeated again and again....it might be connected.
SRK: Like its over done. What do you think Harish?
H: I think she gave the right answer.
SRK: You think its right? Let me tell you the right answer. What do you think?
V: I think its right.
SRK: Your logic and answer is wrong. That means that if Dheirya has the right answer only he can save you, which would be refrain. He has written refrain!

 

SRK: Harish, hide your face. And you guys move your hands from your face and look at the screen carefully because Im givin you your hw question. So please take a hw break.

Welcome back! Vartika it says that you are sleeping beauty. Why?

V: I used to sleep in lots of classes.
SRK: In class?
V: Yes, except the engineering classes.
SRK: I've heard that you still suck your thumb. Sorry I have told your secrets to the public. You sleep and suck your thumb.
V: Yes
SRK: So when you have kids you have give them company. Choose your subject
V: Class 5 Health and Human Body

(quest)

SRK: Kids say Dum laga ke....Zor Laga Ke...

This was a big event and its my most favorite question because I know the answer. I get really happy when I see a question of which I know the answer.

V: I thought you knew all of them
SRK:I think Dheirya knows too, but no I dont know all of them. Im not smarter than a fifth grader.
Dh: But for this question you are.
SRK: Yes for this I am. Anything coming to mind? You still have copy.
V: But if that is wrong...
SRK: Yes if he is wrong then your game is over...
V: Its going to be a big risk but...
SRK: Yes but you can also go with the 50 000 rs.
V: Ill go with Dheirya...Ill copy.
SRK: Copy? So you have to fix it
V: (does so)
SRK: Let's see what Dheirya has written. Christian Barnard. And that is the right answer!

 

OK guys, have to take a break from this and get back to some other work. Im on the second file at 2:25 and there are three more to do....but if I get to the chance to do them tonight I will, otherwise I should have them in the morning

 

SRK: He is naughty but he normally knows all the answers. Sometimes, though rarely he makes mistakes but 99% of the time he is correct. Thanks Dheirya. So now Vartika has no more cheats left.

Youre now at 2 lakhs. Choose your subject.
V: Class 3 Indian History

(quest)

V: Gatuam Buddha was King Siddhartha.
SRK: Yes....but he wasnt the king....he was the prince.
V: Yes...but the father's name.
SRK: You have any idea? You have read stories and all right. So when they were teaching you this in class 3 100% you were...
V: Sleeping.
SRK: You had your thumb in your mouth like this and you were sleeping.
V: No i never did that in class.
SRK: What do you want to do?
V: I want to quit because I have no idea about it.
SRK: Dont go from our classroom...
V: I dont want to. Give me another cheat
SRK: (babbles something....)Ok so if you want to leave you can fix it.
V: (does so)
SRK: Lets see what the kids have written. The right answer is King Shudodhan. Of course you have to fulfill my promise...
V: I have a request for you. Can you say a dialogue from Mohabbatein?
SRK: Mohabbatein, remind me which one?
V: Ek ladki thi deewaani si....(the one from the song aankhen khuli ho ya ho band)
SRK: (does so and adds the line, she also used to ask me which camera should i look in and say that Im not smarter than a fifth grader.)
V: (does so)

SRK: Vartika won 1 lakh and has left and the Shudhodhan is where she got confused. But there is still time in my class so, there is a new contestant from Mumbai. 38 yrs old business man, Ramesh. So go take a break and come back fast....

 

SRK: Welcome back! Coming now is our new Contestant Ramesh! How are you?
R: Good.
SRK: Totally First class?
R: Totally fit. (slang hindi)
SRK: Bole to? (meaning? in slang hindi)
R: Bindaas. (chilled) And you?
SRK: Im good...you?
R: The dialogue from Ram Jaane...give me the 5 crores or else...
SRK: Oh...
R: Why are you making the kids sit here and waste time dude? My brothers are waiting outside
SRK: Theyre waiting outside? For the money? Ok....ill give you but what do you do?
R: I have a ready made garment business. Western outfit ladies wear
SRK: For ladies.....How do you pronounce your name?
R: Ramesh Bhudetti
SRK: What do you people calling you lovingly, or do they not love you at all?
R: There are few that do but they call me Namia
SRK: I heard that you had to stop studies in the 10th class for some reason
R: Yes. I failed 10th thats why
SRK: oh sorry.. I was trying to make it sound less harsh but you made it straightforward.
R: There is no decency in the brotherhood dude.
SRK: oh...where are you from?
R: Kamadipura
SRK: You've scared me. Who has come with you?
R: My dad
SRK: Namaskar how are you? Do you think he will win the money? He is threatening me here so please tell me him not to scare me. He scares me...
R: (touches srk) There is no reason to be scared. (srk jumped a bit )
SRK: Choose your classmate
R: Anubhav
SRK: come bro
R: He also tried to act gangster
SRK: Yes a lot. Dance for him na....you too Ramesh. Ok lets three of us do it.

(does so)

SRK: Brothers dont dance huh...
R: They just shoot and kill
SRK: Ok then lets find out if you are smarter than a fifth grader. Choose your subject
R: Class 1 Art and Music

(quest)

SRK: Anubhav thinks he knows the answer and has fixed it.
R: Im thinking that I should taak jhaank with him
SRK: Taak jhaank? Ok then fix it and say it....(all slang)
R: (Does so)
SRK: Ill show the answer Anubhav has written on the board. He wrote, Red, Green, and Blue.
R: Ill fix it
SRK: Ok then fix it. Its the right answer!

 

SRK: Choose your subject,
R: Animal Kingdom

(quest)

SRK: Anubhav thinks that he knows the answer and has fixed it. Which cant take their tongue out like this...you've seen a crocodile?
R: No
SRK: Panda
R: No...Ill copy from Anubhav
SRK: This early?
R: Yes brothers help each other out
SRK: ok..but you will have to go with the answer that he writes
R: Yes
SRK: Sure? Then fix it
R: (Does so)
SRK: Lets see what Anubhav has written. Crocodile. Its the right answer!

 

R: Thank you boss...if there is any work that you need you tell me ok?
SRK: Thanks Anubhav your work here is done. We will keep moving ahead and Ill give you the next homework question...

 

SRK: Welcome back! Playing is Ramesh and choose your classmate.
R: Milanjeet
SRK: choose your subject
R: computers

(quest)

SRK: You use a computer?
R: I dont know this much. I dont use one.
SRK: Milanjeet thinks he knows the answer. Kids use it everyday in school. Its like aloo (potato), what can it be?
R: I dont know anything about it
SRK: You chose it
R: I saw it and chose it
SRK: Oh now there is a problem.
R: No idea
SRK: If you want to use bachao then you have to say something and fix it
R: Arrange?
SRK: Ok and fix it.

He said arrange because he doesnt use computers and since it was there he chose it. The only thing that can save him is that if Milanjeet has written the right answer. Arrange is wrong. The first two letters are right, the right answer is arithmetic. Arithmetic logic unit, and lets see what milanjeet has written. He wrote Arithmetic!

 

SRK: He has also saved you!
R: I looked at the size and chose.
SRK: size of the brain..but the good news is these three helped you for three questions and saved you, but now you cannot choose a classmate because you have no more cheats left. choose your subject.
R: 1 man show...class 2 hindi

(quest: to make teeth sour, what the is meaning of this hindi idiom?)

SRK: Have you heard this before?
R: Ive heard to break teeth but not this.
SRK: That choice is also there. To remove the teeth. If you play and get it wrong the 50 000 that you have will be gone. Or you can leave with the money.
R: Ill take a risk
SRK: Your choice
R: Gangsters take risks
SRK: Sure yes they do. But its for 50 000 rs
R: I want to fix b.
SRK: You took a big risk. Lets see what the kids have written. They wrote, B. Right answer!

 

SRK: How are you feeling?
R: Totally chilled.
SRK: What will you do with the 1 lakh
R: When the brothers take a risk its not wrong.
SRK: I want to see if you can take a 2 lakh risk but before that we need to take a break.

 

SRK: Welcome back! Choose your subject.
R: Indian History

(quest)

SRK: You jumped ahead and chose a 5th class question.
R: I will have to be daring
SRK: Sure. Another name for Namia is daring.
R: it might be agra.
SRK: If you know then say it because if its wrong you lose everything and game over.
R: Agra....I want to quit
SRK: You want to leave? You have to fix it...
R: (does so)
SRK: The right answer is....what do you think?
R: I thought it was Agra..but
SRK: It was from Dehli to Rangoon.

Thanks for coming, but you have a promise to make.
R: But I did already
SRK: nope not that way...here what i say goes...
R: But there is abdul outside...
SRK: Hey i have seen enough of those...
R: There are more...
SRK: (points a finger gun gesture at his head) come on and say it.
R: (Does so) Hey now move that...
SRK: Thanks

We still have time for another contestant Snehashish Khan...How are you feeling?
S: Nervous
SRK: Nervous? Its ok. We will chat and Ill remove that nervousness of yours. We will also play the game. I thought there was something about your name. Because Sneha is a girls name and then you have ashish and then khan.

What is the idea behind this?

S: My parents have kept the name.
SRK: You didnt think that when you get older you would change the name?
S: Actually in my family, everyone's names end with Ashish.
SRK: I have this picture of you. You had a moustache in childhood.
S: It was forced
SRK: What were you doing at that time?
S: Class 4 play of cinderella. it was a ballroom scene...i was to be one of the people in the ballroom dancing
SRK: Do you dance now?
S: no
SRK: only marketing now...ok choose your classmate
S: Dheirya
SRK: Choose your subject.
S: Class 1 monuments and places

(quest)

SRK: Stand like her and see. Dheirya thinks he knows the answer and has fixed it
S: Ill go with torch
SRK: Torch
S: Torch
SRK: Sure?
S: Yes
SRK: Whats in the other hand?
S: Book
SRK: Tablet, but right answer!

(bell rings)

The class is over. Snehashish has come here and im not making fun of him, but some kids have told me that when they get older they want the right to change their name. its right, because think, as a kid if someone was called Tony, and he was a classical singer when he grew up, then how would it sound if people say listen to this great music by pandit tony? One of my friends has kept their son's name as JagatKripa but then think if he became a wrestler....who would be afraid of him. The announcement would be the great kali vs. jagatkripa? and think if my name wasnt shahrukh khan, and it was munnalaal, then you would come to see my films like KKHH and it would be like kajal, rani is in there and the one and only Munnalaal?

Alvida!